happy father's day!

To the man who is far too hard on himself. To the man who more often than not ends up on the receiving end of my tantrums and frustration and doesn't always deserve it. To the man who never shys away from making more time to spend moments with his family. To the man who took on the responsibility of father without knowing if he ever wanted to be one, without knowing if he was ready. To the man who made me feel safe and comfortable knowing that we would be on this journey together, that I would not have to be doing this alone. To my partner in crime, the person who gives off way too much heat at night and always wants to be as close as possible.
To the man who doesn't always get the credit he deserves. To the man who has been hard at work for the last few years, chipping away at an album everyone is highly anticipating. To the man who understands without having to be told (sometimes). To the man who I am lucky enough to call my partner, my better half, and my best friend. To the man who keeps us all optimistic despite knowing everything around us isn't always so sunny and bright. To the man who steps up to the plate for any challenge or obstacle. To the man who shows that it's okay to be sensitive and to expose a softer side. To the man who remains one of the hottest dads in Brooklyn. To the man who owns more khaki pants than most 80 year old men.
Thank you for being beside me during this wild and crazy ride that is parenting. Thank you for fucking up with me, for making mistakes and wondering who the hell thought we would be great parents, for quickly remedying that thought and telling ourselves that we are meant to be parents, we're just not exactly experts, but no one is. I can't imagine anyone else raising Rocco with me. He is a tiny terror in the best and worst ways just like you. I see so much of him in you it scares me sometimes because he's so young alreay, but knowing that he will only pick up and grown and latch onto bits and pieces of you that made me fall in love with you in the first place makes me excited for what's to come. Do not question yourself as a father because in my eyes you're tyring the best you can and that, to me, is what parenting is.
It's not about being the best or knowing what to do when hell breaks loose and he hits his head on the coffee table or ends up with a rash from rolling in the grass, it's about willing to soothe him and make him feel at ease, putting him first and helping him be the best person that he can be and knowing that we'll get there. Today is your day and I hope that you're prepared for some surprises along the way. I can't give you too much information because I was told that I could not tell you anything. Take that up with Rocky if you want to try and get some hints out. I cannot wait to start this new journey of having not one, but two tiny dictators in the house. I don't know how the hell we're going to end up making it, but I know we will, together. That is all that matters to me. Happy father's day, Ezra. We love you very much.

father	ephraim abramowicz (1945-2014)
mother	abi abramowicz (née stein) (66, retired macy's saleswoman)
brothers	aaron abramowicz (47, construction company owner) jonas abramowicz (35, owner of several autoshops) jay abramowicz (30, radio dj) levi abramowicz (28, photographer)
sisters	rachel abramowicz (45, college professor) joelle abramowicz (42, painter) rebekah abramowicz (30, single mom)

mary ruth was the final abramowicz child born to the abramowicz family, rounding out the total number to eight. given the 10+ age gap between her and most of her siblings, they (jokingly) dubbed her as the "oops" baby. growing up in an already full household was never easy; she learned at an early age that if she didn't want to be background noise and stand out among her siblings, she had to be as loud as possible. she was always talking (or yelling) to make sure her parents and her older brothers and sisters knew her thoughts and opinions, no matter how big or small.

she was always a happy child with a sunny position, always looking on the bright side of things. this trait followed her through her entire life, even in her darkest moments.

while her father, ephraim, was more quiet and reserved, her mother abbi was the complete opposite. she was the definition of the "cool" mom, wanting to be a part of her children's social lives and dating lives, giving unwarranted advice whenever she felt the need. often embarrassed by her mother's antics, ruthie gravitated more towards her father and was a daddy's girl through and through.

she fell in love with musicals at an early age after seeing grease for the first time. she then began to sing and dance in school plays, the hobby following her from elementary school all the way until the end of high school.

she was never allowed to date until she was sixteen years old. between her older brothers being protective and her mother being too lax (think of regina george's mom in mean girls), she never did want to bring anyone home and often would have to sneak around when it came to seeing the opposite sex.

her father died of a heart attack when she was seventeen years old. the sudden lost rocked her to her very core and she was unable to get out of bed for weeks. the amount of school she missed almost wrecked her entire senior year, but she quickly recovered and barely skirted by to make the requirements to graduate. not being able to live in the same house without her father, she made the move to california to attend usc in the fall.

in her senior year of high school she met a boy named cooper sorensen at a party. they began to date sometime after her father's death, and at the time, she was too blinded by her grief to see that he was a bad influence on her. she became isolated from her family and friends, neither of who liked their relationship. things became worse when he beat up the boy next door and best friend, jared. after she threatened to dump him, cooper promised to change, and it lasted a few months until things went sour again. she broke up with him before leaving for california, claiming they needed a break, but they still kept in contact. he showed up one day out of the blue during finals week and became jealous when he saw ruthie with another boy, and the fight they had esclated into violence. she broke up with him there and never saw him again, and filed a restraining order just in case. the incident has made her very weary of dating and she often doesn't stay with one person for too long.

i realized i was falling for you when i began to see the sunset in your eyes and not just the reflection of my flaws.
i fall asleep curled into the comfort of you, the way you smell, your warm body against mine. everything is okay. i am safe with you.
all i feel is how fast my heart beats whenever i'm with you.
i used to watch the sunset because it was beautiful. now i watch it in hopes there will be a shade of pink the same color as her lips. i kiss the sky each time

and when your nails pass
over scars on my back
thank you for not making
it weird, remembering
not to scratch, instead
biting up my neck
hard, bruising it
bad, like the overripe
thing I feel like
so that when I go away
people will look and think
they belong somewhere
and when I come home
you'll make the mark fresh
and I will think
yes
he became my oxygen, my most important inhale.

you don't need to know your position in my heart. you are my heart.
And when two people have loved each other / see how it is like a / scar between their bodies, / stronger, darker, and proud; / how the black cord makes of them a single fabric / that nothing can tear or mend.
let you melt into my skin
and stay there like a tattoo,
permanent and never fade

keep looking at me the way you do and i swear that i'll shout my love for you to the four winds, forgetting any risk.
I just want to pour my soul over you wounds, and plant gardens in all they place they hurt you. I want my love to feel like an apology you never got from them. I want my I love you's to be a reminder that you are still here, you are surviving, and you matter to someone. You are an entire world to someone, I hope my life conveys that to you.
that night when you kissed me, I left a poem in your mouth, and you can hear some of the lines every time you breathe out.

everything's wrapped in this lovely paper:

i hope you don't mind waking up to drake balloons:

I didn't know I had poems inside me until I met you.